Dear Smiley: I recently stopped at Walgreens to pick up a prescription. I eased my car into a tight spot and, with difficulty, extricated myself from the vehicle.
I caught a flash of movement from the vehicle next to me. I was amused to see a little green garter snake slide over the console and into the back seat.
I was trying to see where it went when I was startled by the sound of someone clearing his throat. He was not clearing it for the purpose of a clear throat, but for audibly registering disapproval!
An elderly couple, packages in hand, stared balefully at me. The tense situation did not improve when I panicked and exclaimed, “I wasn’t trying to steal anything!” and then stammered out the story about the little snake.
The lady heard only one word, repeating it several times: “Snake? Snake?”
I tried telling her it was small and harmless. No dice.
“I won’t get in that car until I see a dead snake,” she said firmly.
I offered to help her husband find the snake, but accepted his inevitable reply of, “No thanks, you’ve done more than enough!”
I left him forlornly searching his car in the Walgreens parking lot.
PATRICK COUGEVAN
Mandeville
Moving jewelry
Dear Smiley: Stories about snakes in your column reminded me of an incident that occurred when I was in high school.
I found a very beautifully marked garter snake in our backyard in uptown New Orleans. I named the slithery fellow "Confucius."
I kept him in a shoe box until at my first chance, I went to a pet shop and bought a small wood and wire reptile cage. Confucius had a gentle disposition and didn't seem to mind being handled.
He never bit me, but I had read up on the breed and knew he had no fangs, only very small teeth. I fed him tiny bits of meat, fish, bugs, and some fruit and veggies.
He was not very long, and fit perfectly around my neck. One day I got the bright idea to wear him to school as a necklace.
With his intricate dark green, yellow, and dark brown skin pattern, I thought he looked pretty cool as jewelry.
He was content to stay still, maybe enjoying my body warmth, until a girl approached me in the hallway to admire my necklace.
She touched it before I could stop her, and Confucius circled around until his head was facing her, with his tongue flicking in and out.
She let out a terrified shriek that reverberated through the building. Before I knew it, I was in the principal's office.
I assured the woman that the snake was harmless, but she sent me home anyway (not the first time, nor the last!).
KATIE NACHOD
New Orleans
Name that team
Dear Smiley: About team nicknames:
Hutto High School, in Williamson County, Texas, calls their athletic teams the "Hippopotamuses."
Taylor High School, in the same county, has the "Ducks." One year they called their defense "The Quack Attack."
RICHARD M. GIBSON
Lafayette
Sorry about that!
Dear Smiley: Everyone has probably heard Mick Jagger was in New Orleans for Jazz Fest.
While in City Park the other day, my friend was sure she spotted Mick enjoying a walk through the live oaks. He reached up to inspect the Spanish moss draped on a low limb, and pulled some down.
I told her no way was it him — because a Rolling Stone …
PEG USNER
Mandeville
Dear Peg: Sorry, I just didn't have the heart to finish it, for the sake of my more normal readers …